The year before I'd done pretty much a full hiatus from Instagram and I liked it quite a bit. I don't need the extra noise in my life. Really none of us do, even though it feels like we need it, need to be immediately aprised of tragedies and breaking news stories. But...we don't. We just don't. I also took the news app off my phone over a year ago and guess what? I still learn about the big news stories. Maybe not as immediately as I would have if I could click into a centralized source of articles right from my home screen, but I think I know about the same world events as the average American within like...two days, at most. That is immediate enough.
Anyway, back to Instagram. In 2024 I tried posting every week to help myself mark the passage of the year. Time just moves so fast! A year flies by absurdly fast! I wanted to try to take a few moments every week to denote the passage of time for myself. It kind of worked, but also the year still flew by so fast!!! I feel like I made the decision to try that out approximately three weeks ago...but it has, in fact, been an entire year. So many things have changed and also stayed the same.
Towards the end of 2024 I was reflecting on this. How fast time slides by, how hard it it to grasp the passage, how much adulthood feels like spinning yourself too fast on the merry-go-round and then trying to get your eyes to focus on something- anything!- while you whip around. I wish I didn't so often fall into the trap of trying to rush through things to get to the other side of them. Because really, everything ends faster than we realize. The things we thought were ages away sneak up on us and are only memories.
I think often of how life is better enjoyed when we are intentional about enjoying it. Tasks that feel mundane can feel joyful if we ask a friend to join. Chores that feel overwhelming or that we have been avoiding because we dread them become manageable when we put on a album or playlist full of high energy songs and groove through them. So many experiences in life are the product of the mindset we bring when we embark upon them, and I too often end up just forcing myself through things in a rush.
So one of the things I'm working toward this year is a mindset of reverence. Feeling connected with the regular, daily tasks I perform and feeling good about them. I want to relax when I'm washing dishes. I want to let my mind wander while I go for a walk and feel the sunshine on my face. I want to take pride in doing something slowly and methodically instead of on autopilot.
For the first two years that I worked for my current employer, there was a woman who lived in the house across the street (she has since moved) who seemed to employ a full range of staff to manage her life. As far as I know she was divorced lived alone in her extremely large and state-of-the-art house with her two dogs. She had a whole crew of people to do landscaping for her several times a week, she had a housekeeper who came regularly, and she even had people who alternately came to her house to walk her dogs or fully pick up the dogs in a van (basically a doggy school bus) and bring them to doggy daycare for the day and then drive them home. That. Is. WILD!!!! Part of me respects that this boss bitch made enough money to outsource all the things in her life she didn't want to have to do herself. That's amazing! In many ways, that is the dream! To be able to easily afford to pay someone else to deal with the things you don't enjoy and free yourself up to spend time on what you DO enjoy sounds amazing!
Except.
What was she actually doing with all that saved time? I don't know this woman, so perhaps she had a very fulfilling private life that simply wasn't visible from across the street. But I couldn't help but wonder why, for instance, someone would bother having two dogs if they didn't even take them out for walks? Where is the joy in pet ownership if you're paying someone else to spend time with your pets everyday? (Admittedly, this is the one that stuck out the most to me...I totally get why someone would want to hire help for cleaning or yard maintenance.) Everytime I think about this woman I wonder how satisfying it could possibly feel to exist in the day-to-day when you've outsourced the living part of your own life. Maybe she's thriving! But my guess is that, at least sometimes, it feels hollow.
I want to live a life where I honor all parts of my existence. I want to enjoy all the parts that can feel mundane- maybe not every single time I wash the dishes, but more often than not! I want to steep myself in reverence for all thankless tasks that come with being an adult. I want to lean into the repetition. I want to live each day like a prayer of thankfulness that it has started. I want to remember as often as possible to be grateful that I've gotten another chance to have a day worth living well and revering.
